So I hate to get on the What about Men train, joining Red Pills, Incels, and MRA fuck bois talking about how bad we have it, but I’m gonna do it anyway. Cause I also hate certain stigmas and it seems no one wants to talk about them. Including those fuckers above, cause like, it’s apparently shameful to the idea of masculinity to want to enjoy masturbation. It seems like every woman has not only a vibrator but a veritable toolbox full of personal use sex toys. I know many women who brag about having enough money in self pleasure devices to buy a decent kit of armor. And in case you don’t follow my other hobby that’s 2-3K Dollars.
If a man mentions having a stroker though, it’s just clowning, laughs, and shitting on them for a lack of game. Which like, is pretty shitty in itself, making fun of a person for either struggling to find willing sexual partners or not wanting to drop trou till they find ones they think are special enough. Beyond that though no dude gets shit for actually watching porn or stroking it. Hell we crack jokes about needing to all the time and how partners won’t put out so it’s time for a little 5 finger release.
So why is it shitty to want to make that experience better? A dry hand is just not that fun. That whole guilt and depression that comedians joke about post masturbation, I bet alot of that is dude to literally abusing perhaps the most sensitive skin on your body. And if you know the joys of the lubed hand comparatively, a stroker is the next step up. Perhaps the is something mildly creepy and desperate with buying a toy shaped off of a porn stars anal cavity. I certainly feel a bit of a cringe revulsion to the thought of clinging to the need to feel that fantasy. I also once felt the same about the basic flesh light though and wonder how much of that is just wrapped up misandry and left over puritanism shame. We rock our favorite athletes jerseys, dress up as our favorite movie and comic characters, and hoard band merch. How much of that is just a different fantasy for that realm of entertainment?
Adding sex definitely changes things and I’m not an expert nor qualified in any way to speak on what treads into pathology and unhealthy, and what is simply stigmatized by our societies regressive attitudes towards copulation and sexual gratification. It certainly doesn’t seem exploitive or harmful to me tough so like, the attitude of shame is a little wild. Particularly when we talk about generic non-anatomical sleeves. They are just ways of making the 5 finger shuffle a bit more fun.
The worst part about this shame is that it makes it seem like male pleasure toys have to be enjoyed alone. It’s part of the war on HandJobs I once was a frontline member of and regret my years of services. The attack on the noble art of manual stimulation is tragic and means so much pleasure is lost because of the stupid refrains like “Well I can just do that myself, and I do it better so like, put your mouth on it or why bother?” That’s some bullshit. I can definitely make myself cum quicker but like, I rarely see that heralded as a good thing. I can’t surprise myself with grip strength, intensity, or speed changes. I can’t truly tease myself to the edge of sanity. I can’t work my shaft and grab a fistful of my lovers hair while my other hand explores their body.
And no amount of lube, spit, or partners involvement can bring the variations and depth of pleasure of adding some new deliciously soft textures. Personally I do not think sleeves are better or a replacement for oral, vaginal, or anal penetration. Flesh feels better, in a very primal or dare I say, spiritual, way that even if a synthetic was made that touched the nerves with greater precision and intensity to match my desires, I still doubt it would be a true match. Of course there may be others with a fetish or kink that disagree, but even for those that feel like I do, well a steak is better than burger, but it’s still good to take patties to the grill and make the American Classic. But just like you don’t want to subject your guts to a Macdonald’s abomination if you can help it, you should not settle for a sub par version of this other Classic pleasure.
Adding a sleeve takes manual stimulation to new heights. Whether partnered or alone, we should celebrate the desire to stroke well, not shame people for reaching out for better alternatives. In middle and high school, when we learned our stroking trade, we never laughed at the kid who got the best porn, we demanded they share their stash and heralded them true hero’s for daring to go to and find those hidden treasures. So now, as adults, we should make that same salute to those who take the leap looking for all new orgasmic horizons. And we should follow their example and seek to better the time we take to give the guiding head a thorough and vigorous check up.
Some people reading this will need no encouragement. Other will find it strange that there are those that think penis masturbation toys are somehow an object of humiliation. I’m glad you exist and I hope there are more of those groups than I expect. That does not seem to be the case in the majority of people I know though. Considering I am an owner and user of a sleeve though and still not only feel that shame internally but feel the desire and instinct to use fleshlights as a joke to mock others, I feel there may be a fair number of people who put out a feeling they do not internally believe or are conflicted by. I hope too that some will be convinced that they should put aside any hesitation and try these toys as they are a wonderful addition to solo and partner play.